Dr. Cristina Sevadjian

Hi Covenant Friends,

I wanted to take a moment today to share about a very unpopular topic in our current time…chores for children and teens. I think many people my age and older can remember doing nightly chores at home like helping to clean up the kitchen, feeding a pet, taking out the trash or maybe helping your parents with a Saturday morning project. I am not saying those memories bring up a lot of happy warm fuzzy feelings, in fact there may have been conflict around them or questions regarding the fairness of your own set of chores in comparison to your sibling’s chores. Please keep reading. I promise I am going to make some important points on this topic. Many children and teens no longer have these types of responsibilities in their homes. I think there are many reasons for children and teens no longer having chores today and these reasons are valid  (i.e. busy family lives, lots of activities, chores are hard on parents to enforce, conflict with children). I want to talk to you all today about the importance of chores from a research perspective, the lessons children learn from chores, and some thoughts on developmentally appropriate chores.

Psychologists have been noticing this national trend towards no chores or very few chores. It is a new concept as historically children have had a lot of chores and it was expected that they would contribute to the household. As a result, we began to study whether chores are important for children, and if so, what are the benefits? The studies found two themes emerge: one was in regards to the development of executive functioning skills (planning, task initiation, organization) and the other had to do with children’s self-esteem/self concept. The studies on chores found a positive relationship between family and self care chores and the development of executive functioning skills in elementary school aged children. This finding is important as executive functioning skills are critical to the development of strong academic skills. A different study on chores looked at the impact of chores on the development of self confidence, social skills development, and self efficacy over time.The study found that children who had regular chores showed increases in social skills, academic achievement, and self confidence as they got older. To summarize, chores teach children important lessons such as: how to persist on tasks that you do not like, how to work with others to accomplish a goal, having a sense of confidence and accomplishment in completing a task (there is a lot I can do and contribute), and providing a sense of community (doing things for the good of others). They also teach children that they matter and have something to contribute outside of their personal achievements, which protects them from the negative effects of today's toxic achievement culture. The bottom line is that chores are important for our children!

On a personal note, I decided to conduct a research study in my own home and developed some chores for my own children! The two year old twins began putting their plates in the dishwasher and putting away their clean dishes. My five year old helped with the above chores and folding/ putting away her clothes and the twin clothes. It is not perfect, but it was amazing to see their sense of accomplishment and confidence when they completed a chore! I work with lots of teenagers so I understand and expect them to express resistance to the idea of chores; however, chores do help them learn to manage school, extracurricular activities, and life responsibilities as well as develop independent living skills. Included is a chart of some ideas for chores by age group.